I really tried to not get my hopes up and tried not to look forward to it in case it didn’t happen but as the date, or approximate date was within a month from now I really started to believe it was going to happen.

I have been at work and guess stopped myself thinking about it and today I can’t help myself. At the same time I feel totally selfish for feeling this way.

A good friend of mine is having a real hard time at the moment and I cannot help them. I feel totally useless and helpless right now.

I wish I knew what to do.

I just searched ‘Failure’ and this is the site it took me to:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio.html

ROFL

In actual fact if you search normally using ‘failure’ the first site that comes up is still that one. Its the equivalent of having a photo of yourself under ‘faliure’ in the dictionary. Shame man! Hahahahahahaha!

“If you were designing an organism to look after life in our lonely cosmos, to monitor where it is going and keep record of where it has been, you wouldn’t choose human beings for the job- We have been chosen, by fate or providence or whatever you want to call it. As far as we can tell, we are the best there is. It’s an unnerving thought that we may be the living universe’s supreme achievement and it’s worst nightmare simultaneously”. Bill Bryson-A short history of almost everything.

Incidentally a cool book, read it. Unfortunately my copy is in Germany like so many of my things :/

The place I work is meant to be one of the tightest places for security, they even check your shopping against your receipt  before you leave the store so its a bit strange that someone managed to steal a 32″ TV!

They just picked it up, took out the fire exit and into a waiting car. They did set off the alarms and some staff chased them and were almost run down.

A little bit of excitement for the day.

The funny thing is that exactly the same thing happened the day before! Apparently it didn’t occur to them to move the TV’s a little bit further away from the exits. LOL. Idiots.

So, 4 hours after she was meant to start work she calls me. What was her tremendous excuse for not coming in and not calling me?

Apparently she met up with a friend and just lost track of time. WTF? That is possibly the worst excuse Ihave ever heard in my life. I told her it was hardly a graet excuse but she just said it was the truth so….

Lost track of time? by 4 hours? Oh my word! kill me now.

Anyhow, thats life I guess.

Here’s a joke for you:

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of  them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other  goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years  later, Juan
sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the  picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen  Ahmal."

hahahaha!

I have been doing his job since we both started a couple of months ago, at least now I will get paid for doing it, not alot more but still. Unfortunately I will have to do a whole heap of over time but it all adds up so I will  be rich beyond my wildest dreams! not quite but it will definitely help for my trip

When he left he didn’t even say goodbye or say he was going, ahh well. All he ever did was moan about his job or stand in silence for 8 hours a day. I think I can probably live without that kind of company.

Now I get to see if its actually my job or him I dislike so much.

I have been having dreams about ghost cats again, kinda weird and strangely disturbing and scary.

There seems to be something in the water here. There doesn’t seem to be a single person in this town, all couples. And babies everywhere, or heavily pregnant women. It seems to be the mission in this town,’ MUST…HAVE…A…FAMILY!’ they seem to say :/

Hmmm that was greatly disjointed, sorry

Then there is no way back for me or the person who has offered me somewhere to stay. So, if you are readiing this once I have bought my ticket you can’t change your mind, ok? So speak now or forever (not quite) hold your piece.

So I recently bought glasses, which I was forced to do by my opticians. It’s amazing how different I feel in glasses. Like totally unattractive. Maybe it goes  back to an ex of mine calling me ‘speccy bird’ a long time ago. Don’t know really, but now when people look my way i assume it’s coz they think I look awful. But if i wear them I can save more money so I guess I shall get used to those looks :/

So this is a story I heard on local radio.  A girl 22 yrs old goes sky diving to conquer her fear of heights. The plane crashes and she dies. “Isn’t it ironic? Don’t ya think?”

The pain has abated and I am now at the peeling stage, most unattractive, I can assure you. But at least it is only my back and not my face.

Taking all this in to consideration I was a  little more than miffed when I recieved a package from Germany containing the boring mail I had not missed in the least and a little surprise item. A woolly, winter hat! What were they thinking? Is this the famous German sense of humour we hear so much about? Idiot!

Talking of idiots: How much effort does it honestly take to actually smile at someone whan they smile at you? and worse to actually give more than a blank stare when greeted and asked how you are? The sheer rudeness of people astounds me. Idiots!

Worse even than that is the fact that I am talking not only about stupid customers but actual co-workers. The only people who actally talk to me are the guys, absolutely none of the females give me the time of day

Evil people, this is why I left this town in the first place. I mean can you imagine London being more friendly than anywhere? Try Milton Keynes :/

I miss London

Apparently we are having a heat wave here in England, in other countries I think they call it summer, but there you go. Same thing every year. Roads melting, people dying o_O

Thing is that this seems to happen every year now and we are still surprised when the sun finally comes out for more than 2 minutes at a time. This country is not built for any extreme weather, too hot or too cold, too wet, too windy and we go into crisis mode.

Yeah, so I am hot…..in a heat sense of course.

Work sucks, hours spent doing nothing, I can feel my meagre brain shrinking with lack of stimulation and the lovely locals generally abusing me. But I keep telling myself it is a means to an end.

Oh yeah! To go to a boiling hot country :/

I have my doubts as to my ability to deal with real hot weather, maybe I will get there and want to get straight back on the plane. Hopefully the buildings will be better equipped for heat. I hope so.

I have come to the conclusion that I have way too much time to think at work, this is not a good thing at all. I really need to be busy, if possible have too much to do.

Whilst at work the other day I had a chance meeting with an old school friend, someone I was quite close to. I almost didn’t recognize her or maybe it was just that I was absolutely not expecting to see anyone I knew.

There she stood looking stunning despite being 5 months pregnant, happily married (at this I am guessing) a good job etc. Pretty much having the kind of life a successful 28 year old should be having.

There I stood in my crappy uniform, probably looking a mess, selling mobile fones. Its the kind of job I was doing when I left school at 16. It made me feel like I haven’t moved on at all in 14 years.

Maybe I feel disappointed in myself for not making enough of myself, which I certainly could of done. When I and this friend were at school I was the one who used to help her with work and maybe was a little more academic. And look at us now.

I guess I have done alot since I left school but they are not landmark things I guess. I have travelled and lived in a foreign country, I have met a whole host of interesting people and learnt alot about life and about myself.

I suppose if I had taken the course she had taken I would not have done half the things I have done and will do in the future. And I most certainly wouldn’t of met the people I have met.

And also I suppose I might be 5 months pregnant and to be quite honest I don’t think I am entirely ready for that just yet.

It’s all good.